Déjà vu on the High Seas
By Skip Sheffield
Haven’t I seen this movie before? Yes I have actually. “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” is the fifth in a wildly successful series starring Johnny Depp as pirate Capt. Jack Sparrow. In each installment Depp has worn the same hat and the same heavy dark eye makeup. He also clutches a bottle of booze and rambles around drunkenly. How this guy could captain anything is a mystery, which is the one big gag of this series. Depp has one trademark expression: eyes open wide with a look of astonishment as if he was thinking I can’t believe they pay me to do this.
Well they do, and I am sure it is substantial. The saving grace of this new installment is esteemed Spanish actor Javier Bardem. He plays the dead Capt. Salazar, who roams the seas with an equally dead crew. Their skeleton ship sails equally well above or under water. Also returning is Kevin McNally as Jack’s first mate, Gibbs.
Returning from previous Pirates movies is Geoffrey Rush as onetime foe Capt. Hector Barbosa, who is now buddy with Jack Sparrow. There are two new pretty people; Brenton Thwaites as Henry Turner and Kaya Scodelario as Carina Smyth. Kaya is much more buxom than Keira Knightley, who returns in a pointless cameo with Orlando Bloom.
In all this movie is pretty pointless, noisy and rambling, but who cares? As long as people keep paying money to see Capt. Jack Sparrow, they will keep churning these things out.