Old Pros, Old Jokes and Preposterous “Stand Up Guys”
By Skip Sheffield
Three old pros team with young actor-director Fisher Stevens
and novice screenwriter Noah Haidle for the crazy crime caper comedy “Stand Up
Guys.”
Al Pacino is one “stand up guy” named Val. Christopher
Walken is his best buddy Doc. Alan Arkin is their former wheel man, Richard
Hirsch. The trio was a team of lower-level criminals before a bust 30-odd years
ago. Val took the fall for the gang rather than ratting them out, and for his
silence he was rewarded with a 28-year stretch in the penitentiary.
Doc picks up Val from the slammer. They go to Doc’s crummy
apartment and Val insists they need a big night on the town. Unbeknownst to
Val, Doc is under orders to liquidate Val from the vengeful local crime boss
Claphands (Mark Margolis), whose son Val rubbed out. The deadline is 10 a.m.
the next morning, or terrible things will happen to Doc and his innocent
granddaughter (Addison Timlin).
So the guys head out for a night of Viagra, hookers, dancing and
booze, springing their old driver Hirsch (Alan Arkin) from a nursing home in
the process. To demonstrate how preposterous the story is, the guys handily
steal a new Dodge Challenger, which Hirsch drives like Mario Andretti despite
having been hooked up to oxygen moments before. Then they set off on a merry
chase pursued by half the Los Angeles
Police force, eluding them handily, and then continuing the spree as if nothing
had happened- never to be bothered by the cops again.
Alan Arkin could make the Real Yellow Pages funny, but sadly
his part amounts to only a cameo. After all the old guy jokes peter out (pun intended), we are
left with Val, Doc and the inevitable showdown.
Even at their level of fame and acclaim, perhaps actors the
caliber of Pacino, Walken and Arkin crave the work regardless of the script.
Maybe they just need the money. Whatever the reason, you should save your
money- unless you get a kick out of seeing great actors slumming.
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